Happiness

What a subjective state of being - happy. 

The first time I went to the Shambhala Meditation Center of Boston, I attended their weekly open house.  I walked in so open-minded and ready to soak up as much new information as I could in the two-hour session, which included meditation instruction and a dharma talk.  The talk focused on compassion and how it leads us on a path to happiness.  At that time, I did not realize how central this theme is in Buddhist teachings. 

One of the statements the leader of the talk made was that all beings share the same motivation in life, which is to be happy. And that all of our actions in life are done with the ultimate goal of leading us to happiness.  I posed the question, "Is it over presumptuous to state that all beings share this goal of happiness?".  I was thinking of cultural differences and genuinely wondering if it can indeed be assumed that all beings strive for happiness.  I was also thinking outside of the context of Buddhist teachings, which I now know are based on the goal of attaining true happiness.  Across the world and all of its different cultures and subcultures - are all beings really living with the ultimate goal of happiness?  Are there people that do not know what happiness means?  Or what it looks like?  Does it matter how people define happiness?   If one has never been exposed to happiness, how can one strive to achieve it?  So many questions! 

These questions remain for me but I seem to be getting closer to having a better understanding of where the leader of this talk was coming from and also a better understanding of how to respond to such questions.  I am reading Loving-Kindness:  The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg.  I got the title from suggestions listed on a page for "Beginners" on the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center website.  As I wrap up chapter 2, I am longing for a deeper understanding of happiness as it is understood in various populations across the world.  The reason is because true happiness, and the path to attaining it, is defined in such a convincing way within Buddhist teachings, I can't help but wonder if there are equally or more convincing definitions and paths.  As described by Salzberg:

The basis of the Buddha's psychological teaching is that our efforts to control what is inherently uncontrollable cannot yield the security, safety and happiness we seek.  By engaging in a delusive quest for happiness, we only bring suffering upon ourselves.  In our frantic search for something to quench our thirst, we overlook the water all around us and drive ourselves into exile from our own lives.

We may look for that which is stable, unchanging, and safe, but awareness teaches us that such a search cannot succeed.  Everything in life changes.  The path to true happiness is one of integrating and fully accepting all aspects of our experience.

Salzberg goes on to describe how this philosophy is represented in the Taoist symbol of yin yang.

In the midst of the dark area is a spot of light, and in the midst of the light area is a spot of darkness.  Even in the depths of darkness, the light is implicit.  Even in the heart of light, the dark is understood, acknowledged, and absorbed.  If things are not going well for us in life and we are suffering, we are not defeated by the pain or closed off to the light.  If things are going well and we are happy, we are not defensively trying to deny the possibility of suffering.  This unity, this integration, comes from deeply accepting darkness and light, and therefore being able to be in both simultaneously.

WOW!  I mean, how can you argue with that!  This post comes just a moment after checking my feed from Psychology Today and seeing this article: The Hidden Side of Happiness, posted just 2 days ago.  This article couldn't better exemplify the excerpts above from Salzberg's book.  The article speaks to the idea of "what doesn't kill you makes your stronger" and a new area of study, post-traumatic growth.  But what this article really ends up describing is that post-traumatic growth is realizing the path to true happiness by integrating and fully accepting all aspects of our experience. 

So here I am, utterly amazed really.  Amazed by the timing of things I think.  The connection of my first experience at the Shambhala Center, the book that I essentially randomly selected from a list of about 20 or so, and the recent article I happened to catch on Psychology Today.  And the connection of all of this to a life-long desire to study and practice psychology paired with a lingering desire to learn about Buddhism... with essentially zero exposure to either.  And how it is all fitting together nicely lately. :)

So, is happiness subjective?  True happiness?  I'm not sure...